Frustrations and apology

Today I got mad. I thought that this class was a safe place to express feelings and frustrations and I was wrong. I ended up yelling and my teacher and for that I am sorry. I have a lot of other stuff going on right now in my life and I'm a little on edge. I also feel that I am behind the class as I seem to be the only one struggling with the time strains on each assignment. I find it frustrating that the only time I can work on projects is at night in which case I get started, have questions, and am left without a professor to guide me. Even now it is just after 9pm on Monday night and I was trying to work on my assignment #4. Unfortunately I am not as familiar with the illustrator program as I would like to be. I am struggling with figuring out where to find which tools. At this point I don't know how or else I can't remember how to change the weight variables. I also am little discouraged because I don't think I'm as familiar with design as I want to be. I work really hard on tasks that I am given and I feel nervous about this assignment because I'm scared to try new layouts. I'm nervous to try and be creative without creating absolute design no no's if that makes any sense. Anyway, all I can say is I'm trying.